cantankerouscrab:

hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today

asap-tran:

really-shit:

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

fuck

gentlemanbones:

zeldasboyfriend:

me flirting

You can’t just whip out your cock at somebody man

terriblyunoriginal:

tacohz:

The sexual tension between you and your posters as you’re getting dressed

I can only imagine how hot and bothered my world map gets.

sclez:

carnivalowl:

Saying that a man and a woman can’t be “just” friends is like assuming that a bisexual can’t have any friends at all because they might get a sudden urge to fuck them.

You’ve found out my secret.

I just want to bang everybody all the time.

libernum:

don’t send people anon hate no matter how much you disagree with them 

pheebadohdoh:

usoppsass:

IM GONANa FuCkiNG PEE MY PAN t s